Do Dreams Have To Die?

While on the road of losing the weight I had gained over the years, I found myself reflecting on a young vibrant woman that was going to conquer the world, a young woman that had so many dreams and a young woman who couldn’t be stopped. That young woman was me. It was many years ago, so what happened to all those wonderful dreams? Why did I stop? Where did I lose the drive? Were they just dreams, or can dreams truly become reality?

As I became increasingly discontent with my day to day living the desire to know why I had let my dreams die became relentless. A week after I turned 21 I got married. I was young. I never allowed myself to finish college or do any of the things I wanted to do. After all, once you get married and have children you can’t think about yourself anymore.  They always come first. Is that really true? Society and the church had me believing that I had to give up my life ambitions, my dreams, and my career in order to be the best mom and wife I could be.  If you continue to hold on to your dreams and advance towards them does that automatically make you selfish? Does it make you a bad mother? Wife? Can there be a balance?  In every breath I took, the needs of my husband and my children had to come first.  That was what I was taught.

Ironically, while I was fighting with this basic idea, I went to the movies with my daughter. We saw Mona Lisa Smile.  It was my life on the big screen. It talked about the “woman’s” roll.  I could not hold back the tears from the pain of seeing the truth before me. It brought forth even more unanswered questions.

If you give up everything for someone else is that really giving them your best? Do you then become what they mold? Do you eventually forget who you are? My quest for the answers to these tough questions, as well as many others, followed by brutal honesty resulted in a painful time in an already shaken world. However, if I didn’t ask these questions I would never have discovered the amazingly, wonderful opportunities that life has to offer. Dreams are the foundation for anticipating the future, and anticipating the future creates the drive to make dreams come true.  Life is way too short to not know who you are, what your desires are and what steps you must take to fulfill them. I found myself consumed with seeking and rediscovering my dreams.  I revisited old ideas and passions only to find that most of them were still alive; they were just buried so deep I had forgotten.  I have also discovered new dreams that are so incredibly exciting, challenging and surprising. How was I going to obtain them? One at a time was my answer. I am convinced that   everything in the realm of imagination is in the realm of reality. With rekindled fire, nothing is going to stop me unless I stop myself.  I will consider others, but I have to be true to my dreams. When dreams die so do you.